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Live in the moment (part II)

Blackpool, England


Have you ever been called fat ... wait ... massive, to your face ... in front of 30 other people ... while at work ... I have! THE JOYS OF SHOW BUSINESS, p.s. during this encounter I was tipping the scales at about 9.7 stone? Part of me wanted to literally melt into a pile of goo -- never to be seen again. But life went on, complete with an agonizing lunch hour.  I had very few options but to tuck my humiliation quietly away in my back pocket for safe keeping. Sometimes we are told things that we don't want to or aren't ready to hear. And sometimes those things settle and make us better, softly pushing us out of our previous comfort zone.

I understand why there are such high standards in the entertainment industry. It's imperative to sell the hard work and near flawless image along with the thrill. I think people like to feel amazed and they like to see someone doing daring and difficult things, I think they like having idols and people with fit bodies to adore, because they're too busy to look that good. That is exactly why they also like watching people fall and then they scoot forward to the edge of their seats and wait astutely for the moment they can applaud. Approval GRANTED!

I am a curious person, and lately context has been taking me for a spin. I'm trying not to judge when I'm not aware of the whole context, but being that it's human nature to judge and process our environment, it's not always easy. I also believe that being brilliant is not an algorithm with required guidelines. A powerful leader guilty of infidelity isn't necessarily a better leader if he's loyal. And similarly if my life partner isn't loyal, I may have just done a bad job picking a life partner. Regardless, those two scenarios aren't related, and there's missing context.


Back to Blackpool. I'm an adult, I was bullied at work, and it made me see things differently. I could have easily ignored the uncomfortable requirements of my job prior to that experience. I'm grateful. It would have been much easier to feel sorry for myself or fantasize about a harassment suit but I'm glad I just sucked it up and took on a label that shoved me a few inches outside of a comfort zone.  I accepted the situation and its lessons. I can't say, given different variables, that I would have stuck around; but the truth of the matter is:  I loved my time, my comrades and of course, my lessons that summer. I loved my happy housemates, gaining my perspective, and that it was ok to be annoyed with the same thing every day. It was atypically warm and brilliant that summer -- a rare British summer (virtually rainless) and a safe place for me to be ordinarily extraordinary.

Yay for Blackpool ... for heat waves, CONTEXT and the people who make sure that you are still on the way to becoming who you want to be ! Thanks MANDS.


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Goodbye to the circus xx