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On: Rx: Self-help

I have an urge to share a story...

 About 15-years ago just before heading off to become a student at Michigan State University, I  started self-medicating; it was always a bit of an indulgence, my secret weapon. Afterwards, I felt a variety of things that I liked: happiness, inspiration, calm; it was a way to harness chaos for me. Now, you might be wondering what I was doing to pacify my nerves....  we're getting there. I chose that phrase 'self-medicating' for a reason, I chose it because it has a negative stigma in tow, I chose it because I redefined it for myself, and I hope my story might help you redefine it, too.

This story is not dictated by my fear for worries. Perceptive is a powerful thing. This drug of choice was called writing and it didn't have any side effects, stigmas or regrets. It comforted me just like the warmth of anxiety and just like burn of alcohol but it was about embracing daylight and by giving my mind a creative, all-consuming activity, I rendered it too busy to roadblock itself.

I write, I let my mind spill onto a page and it's medicinal magic. I chose that phrase self-medicating so that anyone who may come across this story might have an opportunity to see the ability to see self-help and self-medication as positive synonyms. 

There is so much hope, there is so much physical and emotional first aid out there. Things that don't involve harming yourself or pumping your body with toxins until your pain is dormant for a short time. We both know it returns and usually more intense than before.There are so many people who dedicate their life's work to providing support -- I felt all alone, but I wasn't. I promise, YOU ARE NOT ALONE !

I am an empath, I have a fantastic and chaotic mind, I can wallow in inspiration and I can feel sadness, not just my own but other people's too. I feel everything with my whole body. But, being able to feel doesn't need to be the worst conviction ever handed out. Fighting your nature isn't always the way forward.  By finding a healthy focus and embracing myself, I came to this:  MY BOTTOM LINE --  my life has value and for that value to be real, I have to be the first one to believe in it. SO  I earned and learned and battled for every ounce of  self-worth I have. I took a journey and worked the greatest project of my life -- myself.   

So when I feel anxious or sad or overwhelmed, I write. among other things, writing, for me, is a form a  catharsis and a form of creative expression. I use my writing as treatment, I am treating a problem at it's source. I am giving my mind a productive job. I prefer this avenue as opposed any self-medicated adventure of the destructive variety. All those band-aid variety fixes are temporary and dangerous. 

I truly feel I am more articulate in my life and with my friendships when I can interpret the illusions and disorder in my own mind into a written format. I can set my fingertips on the keys or pencil to a page and there is grace made of clutter and disarray. I can purge and create all at once. I feels wonderful.

Like a kite string with no tangles, pulling effortlessly up towards the sky; writing takes the once white space of blank pages and makes it a testament that doesn’t evaporate with distraction or impermanence. It won't disappear into thin air, but instead it lasts and it’s meaningful; it's artistic. This thing is deeply therapeutic and it helps me medicate my mind and soul so that I can remain healthy and happy. FIND YOUR THING, it may help you find yourself.... 

WRITING-- it comes Highly recommended xx.


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