On: A Wedding Day

Don’t be fooled, you can never know what having your own wedding day would be like until it’s happening to you. I had attended quite a few weddings in my lifetime, and I let myself believe I didn’t need one.

I told myself that chair coverings and table cloth colors should never be something to focus my energy on. I let myself be fine with not spending so much money on one day, and I allowed myself think that a wedding was a vain, tradition I could live without—I was wrong, I was -oh so very wrong.

I never was the little girl who dreamt of her wedding day, I used to dream of pink skies, walking across laser beams and about what clouds tasted like. My mind was a wonderland of curiosity and I could lose myself there for hours. It never occurred to me to imagine something common, I didn't think to obsess about something that seemed rather expected of us. I am a hopeless romantic, but I’m unconventional to the core, my fantasies revolved around fabulous unknowns.

If you don’t want to have a wedding, then don’t. Yes, it can be that simple.

My version of things isn’t some scripture or exception-less truth, it’s a new perspective and it’s wallowing in the magic of being in love and finding the person you want to share the rest of life’s wild journey with.

All I’m preaching is: don’t talk yourself out of doing it because you think you understand what you’re missing—you don’t.

You couldn't possibly know what you're missing. I thought it was about pride and kitchen appliances. It’s not, it’s about love; it's a Venn Diagram of your past, present and future. It’s getting every good thing about the both of you and putting it in one room; it’s all the people that helped better you and the tiny imprints forever in your heart -escaped- and just floating around the spaces between your bodies. It’s a network of love, and on that special day, that network has one thing in common - - it’s so magical.  Nothing I’ve done so far compares to it's magic, I’m still in awe as I write this to page.

They all showed up, for the same reason, they came miles and hours and days away from their homes. They were unselfish; they gave you wishes and gifts; they danced, ate and laughed at a party you designed just for them.

Yes, things went wrong, and big disasters were averted into smaller ones; nervous energy doesn’t always draw calm reasonable results, but I get to tell my story how I remember it, and this is how I’ll always remember it -- it was about LOVE; dreamlike and fantastic. It was truly unimaginable and my heart was soaring with joy. A kind of joy that I’ve never known. I was happiest and the least stressed I’ve ever been.

People always find it difficult to slow up and realize what's good and happy before it's gone, I'm there. My life is good and happy and it's took me 36 years to really fill up with appreciation for that idea. If you aren't hitched and  a tiny part of you thinks it could be for you -- if you aren't sure -- I'd say keep looking and hoping and going, it's the way forward.