I write letters, I think they are the most unique and unrepeatable gift you can give to another person. It takes time and creative verve to articulate feelings into words. It’s pure devotion.
Love him and yourself until you are certain you are in the wrong place. He is not a project, calm your competitive nature and love, loving is joy and even when you don’t get love in equal amounts returned, it is joy. Be that joy. Be love and be authentic as you always have been. Not every love story is flawless from the first moment. Tell your love story the way it happened. Yours will be unique and inspiring and it will rock you whole world; the thought of losing it will knock the air from your lungs. You part in your current story is vital and if this isn’t the love story of your live it, you will pass through a very distinct moment when you know it’s time to let go. And if you were authentic and loved because the love was deserved the pain of that loss will be converted into fond memories and pain written over.
My theory is to love others like you deserve to be loved. Do not love another like a project, or someone to be fixed. You are perfect just as you are and you deserve to be loved that way as does everyone else who is bold enough to try to love again. For now it seems he's been fumbling and flopping trying to love you accurately; all while he hasn’t been loving himself. Maybe he will get there while you’re still by his side and that would be exquisite. You have both fought for each other and it’s less important to have a good story as it is to have a good teammate. I met Steven online, not perfect or ideal for some people but it’s our story and we have built a story worth telling, he the best teammate, I’m done looking; he is exactly how it should be.
"Perhaps someday, I'll crawl back home beaten and defeated, but as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak and beauty out of my sorrow, I'll be ok."